Trust the universe, trust your timing, trust your own time zone - this might sound very spiritual and vague, but if you stop and think about it, everything in your life happened for a reason and you eventually figured everything out, day by day. Even if you still struggle with some things, just look back at your own life’s history and see that at last, it will all be alright.
One of the ways to just “go with the flow” and trust your timing, is to stop comparing yourself to others. A while ago I stumbled upon a text that went like this:
New York is 3 hours ahead of California, but that doesn’t make California slow.
Someone graduated at the age of 22, but waited 5 years before getting a good job.
Someone became a CEO at 25, and died at 50. While another became a CEO at 50, and lived to 90 years.
Someone is still single at 37, while someone else got married at 22.
Obama retired at 55, & Trump started at 70.
Everyone in this world works based on their time zone.
People around you might seem to be ahead of you, and some might seem to be behind you. But everyone is running their own race, in their own time.
Do not envy them & do not mock them. They are in their time zone, and you are in yours.
Life is about waiting for the right moment to act.
So, relax.
You're not late.
You're not early.
You are very much on time.
It was stuck in my mind for a very long time, helping me through some confusing periods of my life. For example, after I graduated from college, I struggled for many months to find a job. I searched and applied to various companies, I had interviews from time to time, but none of the companies followed up, or they declined me.
In the beginning, I was very disappointed, but then I started to think that the universe had something better for me. And it did. Whatever didn’t work out for you, wasn’t meant for you. Learn to trust the process.
This doesn’t mean that you should lay on the couch and do nothing, because you trust that everything will figure itself out magically. It means that if after all of your efforts, something doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would, it means that something better is waiting for you when the time is right.
Sometimes, you do your best, but things just don’t go your way - they need more time than you anticipated. You can’t change or control everything, but you can always choose to grow and learn through every moment like this.
Is Social Media helpful or harmful?
Living in our times makes it very hard to avoid comparing yourself to others because social media puts a lot of pressure on us. People are posting only their most significant accomplishments and the greatest parts of their lives, and of course, you don’t see their struggles and bad days.
Someone is getting married and has the most expensive wedding, someone just went to Bali for the 3rd time this year, some 22 girl just bought their own car - don’t let it trick you into believing that every single person has it all figured out, that everyone is happy all the time, and every single person, except you, has the perfect recipe for this complicated process we call life.
If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, just unfollow them. You can do this in real life too!
Some other thoughts that may come to your mind when comparing yourself to these people are something along the lines of “once I have that car I’ll be happy” or “once I have that expensive dress, I’ll be happy” - you keep postponing your happiness until a future milestone, never reaching that state of mind because there will always be more and more goals to accomplish.
This is something that I read about in James Clear’s Atomic Habits book - he wrote a little bit about this goals-first mentality and I found it very relatable.
Trust the timing
You have to stop waiting for your life to be perfect to enjoy it. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have goals in life - it means that you should focus on the present, on the things that you have, not on the things that are missing from your life. Take a step back and be grateful - this person you are right now is worthy, and you have time to be whatever you want to be.
On another note, I personally found that Social Media can be helpful - it’s all about who you’re following and what you’re consuming on all these platforms. Their algorithms can be quite smart so whatever Instagram post or TikTok video you like, save, comment on, or even spend more time looking at it, the platform is going to give you more of that type of post.
On Instagram, I love to follow accounts that share lots of quotes and texts that I find relatable (for example, see @quotesbychristie, @ohverlee, @theopeninvite) - they really help me with a lot of reminders that I should seize the present moment, that everything happens for a reason, and to give myself time and allow myself the space to go after my dreams.
Whenever this kind of quote pops into my feed or explore page, I read it very aware of every word, and save it if it’s relatable for me. From time to time, whenever I feel like I need it, I love to visit the saved posts and go over these meaningful words again.
So, whenever you’re mindlessly scrolling through your social media, seeing everyone’s polished pictures of their lives, it’s really helpful to see some reminders that bring you back to reality.
There are no such things as standard models in life
All of these comparisons don't make sense if you stop and think about it. We are 7 billion people on this Earth, why should we do everything in the same order? Maybe your recipe for happiness and accomplishment doesn’t mean you should do what you’re “supposed to do”. Perhaps you don’t have to get a job at 21, get married at 25, have kids at 27, and retire at 65. Everyone has their own path to happiness. You do you.
Nothing feels better than living for yourself - not for other people’s acceptance. You’re here to live YOUR story. Not everyone will understand your choices and your journey, but that’s totally fine - you’re not here to make everyone understand.
Another important thing is to learn to admire another person’s success without questioning your own. Choose to be excited for your friends, family members, and all important people around you, and remember not to compare your level 1 to somebody else’s level 20 - other people’s success is not a point of reference by which you should measure yourself. And most importantly, don’t compare yourself to strangers you randomly see on the internet. You’re only creating competitions that don’t actually exist.
Because they are in their time zone, and you are in yours.
So, relax.
You're not late.
You're not early.
You are very much on time.
